something that resemblance me ? *laugh sorrowly*

Skies are dark it's time for rain

Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterdays
Wipe the tears you hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow

How can I be smiling like before
When baby, you don't love me anymore

Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so

Ten to five atleast we tried
We're still alive but hope just died
As they close the door behind you
Whistle blows and tons of steel
Shake the ground beneath the wheels
As I wish I never found you

How can I be smiling when you're gone
Will I be strong enough to carry on

Miles and miles to go before I can say,
Before I can lay my love for you to sleep
Oh, darling oh
I got miles and miles to go
Before anyone will ever hear
Me laugh again

and also this

Just be friends All we gotta do
Just be friends It's time to say goodbye
Just be friends All we gotta do
Just be friends Just be friends...

I remembered early yesterday morning
Why do I feel
As if I'm gathering piece of broken glass? Blood drips from my cut fingers
I wonder if we wanted to do these kinds of things

I already knew deep inside my heart
That the most painful choice would be the best
My self-love refuses it and as a result, self-contradiction repeats
I wonder when we can talk

In this slowly decaying world
A path for my struggling self
I carve in your colorless smile
I pulled off the plug

I shouted until my voice was dry
The echo reverberates in the empty air
Although there was nothing left
After the chains were removed

Fate that allowed us to meet
The darkness interrupts countless and relentless time
"So this is how it is..." I murmured
Somebody's tears flow down dried cheeks

All we gotta do Just be friends
It's time to say goodbye Just be friends
All we gotta do Just be friends
Just be friends Just be friends...

I realized at yesterday's quiet night
That even if I pick up the fallen flower leaves
It won't bloom back to its original form
The small death on top of my hands
Our time is frozen still

I remembered the season when we first met
And your sweetly smiling face
I push the present to the past and received the scars that we both got
Our hearts are full of thorns

Even in this frustratingly continuing relationship
I sadly can't change my heart
I was loving you, I didn't want to be apart from you
But I have to say it

The rain that pours on my heart
Dazed and terrified, even my vision is blurry
I anticipated the hurt
But my body can't move

Fate that connected us
Becomes undone and disappears into everyday life
Goodbye my loved one... This is the end
Now we look go on without looking back

Once more, once more
If my wish can come true
I want to be reborn many times
I'll go and meet you from that day

I shouted until my voice was dry
The echo reverberates in the empty air
Although there was nothing left
After the chains were removed

Fate that connected us
Becomes undone and disappears into everyday life
Goodbye my loved one... This is the end
Now we look go on without looking back

This is the end

(Just be friends All we gotta do
Just be friends It's time to say goodbye)

Just be friends All we gotta do
Just be friends (Just be friends) It's time to say goodbye
Just be friends (Just be friends) All we gotta do
Just be friends (Just be frien~ds)It's time to say goodbye
Just be friends (~)All we gotta do
Just be friends (~)It's time to say goodbye
Just be friends

yes, I know it just songs lyrics, but the lyrics was composed perfectly resemblance what I feel.

hahaha, I often asked my friend "why do you cry for him that much?" well, I've felt it now.

*sigh* I hope that there is a person who sell a 'mind eraser', 'memory eraser' so I can buy it

and erase all of my feelings towards him ..

but, I know that there's nothing wrong, the feeling just flowing naturally ..

I can't blame anyone or even my self `

*sigh*

love never on my side

it always ended unrequited

I want to go somewhere that there are no people ..

I really want to shout everything out !

*sigh* hahaha :')

i wanna own these dolls

it's what i'm thinking 'bout it ~

is this a right thing to think and say ? ...

if he is right here by my side, should i say, "i wanna comforted by you" ? ~ ♥
if he is here right now, what is his response if i say, "i wanna be with you today and forever" ? ~ ♥
if he is here, should i make it as my brother or my boyfriend ? ~ ♥
if i meet him somewhere, will he recognize me as a fans or someone that he love ? ~ ♥

and when i ask something like these, what is his answer ? ...

do you care about me ? ~ ♥
do you love me ? ~ ♥
do you feel the same as what i'm feel to you ? ~ ♥

will you choose me as your girlfriend ? ~ ♥
will you save me whenever i'm in danger ? ~ ♥
will you always be by my side ? ~ ♥

are those words possible for me to ask ?
or at last ...
am i only dreaming 'bout it a little bit too much ? ~ ♥

whahahaha !! XD

whahahahaha !!! i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~
i'm very happy today !! i'm very happy ~ very happy ~

today is so freakin' damn hot !!

huwaaaah ~ !!! it's hot .. hot .. hot.. everywhere .. ><

the sun shines so shinny *what the hell with my language ?!!* hwahawhahahaha ... >:D
huhf ~ luckily , it's holiday now, and tomorrow and until about 3 weeks later .. hehehe .. >:3
and i wonder what should i do on my holidays ? there's nothing i can do ..

hmm ~ i have many plans for these holidays, but seems like i can't do that all ..
first, i've planned to go to a recreation park to have fun with my friends , but it totally decline .. ya' know that one of my friends can't attend the event *what event ?!! LOL*
and the second is i want to go to a mall that will be an cosplay event there .. hwahahhaha , can't wait for it .. >w<

err ? wait a sec .. i've only planned 2 planning for these holidays ?
whoaah ~ i wonder why can i think so many about it ? LOL


HAPPY HOLIDAY ~ \(o^w^o)/

today was so fun .. hahaha

okay , hajimemashou ka ? hehehehe .. >:3

today, i went to school normally just like before . i arrived at about seven o'clock , and o my gosh !! it was really silent in my class . everybody went to attended the class-meeting . hahahahaha .. XD
i waited for my friend ICO CHAN *read it okay ?! it's green hahaha* with LIANNY YEN YEN *read it okay ?! it's yellow hahaha* about half hour .. and when she arrived, we went to the teacher's room to get our paper test .

we waited for a looooonnnggg timee, and we decided to skipped the school . unfortunately, they didn't allow me to step out from the school, and if we wanted to go home or something else, we need to have the permit letter from the teacher . it's so SUCKS !!
so, we planned something GENIUS . hahahaaha . >:D
i went to the teacher's room and get the letter , and finally !! jreeng jreng jreng jreeennngg !!!
i've got it !! hahahaha
we skipped the school together ~ lalalalalalalalaaa ~ ♪♪♪♪♪

HAPPY HOLIDAY

Music : Cherish | Video : draw with me

i always wanna cry when i watch this video .. TTATT

Ai Otsuka
:: Cherish ::


~Romaji Lyrics~

Itsukara ka suteki na koto wa
Hitsuzen youshite dokoka wo ushinatta
Kokoro no tsunagari ni obiete
Karada de ume youtoshita
Fuan wo gomakashita
Sonna mainichi no naka de
Anata wa mou atashi no
Kokoro no naka ni ita

*Moshimo futari fukaku omoete
Itsuka koko de toki wo oetemo
Zutto atashi anata wo aishite
Te wo nobashiteru to omoeta no

Aijou wa nante kowai mono
Dakara nigetari motomeru
Otona datoka kodomo datoka
Nou kankei nai yo

Marude hatsukoi mitai
Unmei dato omoeru kurai
Daki aeba kanjiru
Kore hodo ni nai yume goro

Moshimo futari deae nakereba
Konna fuu ni warae nakatta
Kotoshi ichiban shiawase na no wa
Anata no soba ni ireta koto

*Repeat

~Kanji Lyrics~

いつからか　素敵なことは
必然要して　どこかを失った
心のつながりに　おびえて
体でうめようとした
不安をごまかした
そんな毎日の中で
あなたはもうあたしの
心の中にいた

※もしも　2人　深く想えて
いつか　ここで　時を終えても
ずっとあたし　あなたを愛して
手を伸ばしてると　思えたの※

愛情は　なんてこわいもの
だから　逃げたり　求める
大人だとか　子どもだとか
もう関係ないよ

まるで初恋みたい
運命だと思えるくらい
抱きあえば　感じる
これほどにない　夢頃

もしも　2人　出会えなければ
こんな風に　笑えなかった
今年　1番　幸せなのは
あなたのそばに　いれたこと

(※くり返し)

~English Translation Lyrics~

Since when have we lost
the wonderful things that we need somewhere?
I fear the connection to [your] heart
& I buried myself with my body
During those days [when] I [lied] everyday about my fear,
you were already in my heart

If we can think deeply
that someday time will end here,
I thought that will always love you
& I'll be holding out my hand [to you]

Love is such a scary thing
That’s why we run away as we search for it
It no longer has anything to do with being an adult or being a child

This feels just like it’s my first love
So much so that I feel like it must be fate
Not even in my dreams do I feel
The way I do when we hold each other

If we can't meet each other,
I couldn't laugh this way [like when I'm with you]
This year, the happiest thing is
being able to be by your side

If we can think deeply
that someday time will end here,
I thought that will always love you
& I'll be holding out my hand [to you]